I heard the old man’s voice break
Stutter once then stop it, I heard
A sentence started confidently
Halted by the sudden absence of a word

Stumbled and he sputtered, trying to find it back
Something once so simple gone now
When he finally gave up, told me
"Aw, it’s like hell getting old"

When you came into the store
Did you know you’d show me your scars?

I had a heavy heart
He carried a door
It’s shattered pane all wrapped in plastic
And he asked if I could fix it

Come by a little later
Help him put it back on hinges
"See, I’m far too old to lift it
And it’s not for my house, it’s my son’s"

When you opened up the door
What is it you thought you’d find?

Nobody flinch

Later I came by
And backed into the driveway
Got out to find him waiting there
To lead me through the side yard

To back behind the house
Where the door frame stood empty and
Helped me keep it steady
While I hammered all the pins in

Then later on the porch
We somehow got to talking
He told me of the house
And how his son is schizophrenic

So they purchased it for him
The medication working
And they figured it would help him fit in
Help him lead a normal life

But the pills made him sleep too much
And he couldn’t keep a job as a result
So one day he just gave up on taking them
And that day she had called you
He’d locked her outside of the house

How quickly did you get there?
And what were you thinking while walking up?
What fears flashed in front of you
Taunted you, walking to unlock the door?

I remember it, Ed
That story you told me
Came back clear tonight
Here while writing

And you should know the feeling never left me
The weight of my heart
When you showed me the scars
On your arms

When I looked in your eyes
And I heard what you’d said
How you’d probably would’ve died
Were it not for to care

For your daughter and wife
How he drove in the knife
Still your son
How you seemed to look through me

To some old projector screen
Playing back the scene as you
Described it on a movie reel
As real as the minute when it happened

That memory moving behind me
That moment that changed you for good

And he drove to the house
And pulled into the driveway
Got out to his wife
Waiting, frantic

She’d come by to check
Found the pillbox was empty
Went out to the pharmacy
To fill up his prescription

And came back to a locked door
And could not get back in
She’d knocked and she’d knocked
But he wasn’t responding

You put the key into the lock
And turned it
Felt the bolt slide away
Slowly open

Went into the hall
His son held a knife
Standing off in the shadows
Lunged forward and tackled him

Stabbing him over and over
And breaking that window
He fled up the staircase
The ambulance came

Stitched and filled him with blood
While the cops took his son
With his wires so tangled
His father was a stranger

And I sit in my apartment
I’m getting no answers
I’m finding no peace
No release from the anger

I leave it at arms length
I’m keeping my distance
From hotels and Jesus
And blood on the carpet

I’m stomaching nothing
I’m reaching for no one
I’m leaving this city and
I’m headed out to nowhere

I carry your image
Your grandfather’s coffin
And Ed, if you hear me
I think of you often

That’s all I can offer
That’s all that I know how to give