What will I find?
Some sacred thing
To help me handle the tragedy?
Or did I once
Did I have it and lose it?

No one should ever have to walk through the fire alone
No one should ever have to brave that storm, no
Everybody
Needs someone or something

And when I sing
Don’t I sing your name out
Right at the same time
That I sing my own?

Some days, I swear I can feel you
Splitting the light through the window frame
The shapes it makes
Are always warmer, always brighter
Than the rest of what comes through

Some days, I swear I can hear you sing
To me, or whisper my name in the slightest way
It’s like the warmest light now laid across my bedroom floor
Is somehow actually you
And not just sunlight

I have the memory, climb down the balcony
I put a flower on the back of its dress, it’s
Probably best to forget it
It’s probably best to let go

I paint it the shade of where the skin and the lip meet
Only a moment after breaking the kiss, and
I blur out everything else
That’s how I choose to remember it

Some nights are a lot like the days, I lay awake too late
I watch the shadows cast and trace your shape
Those silver slivers on the wall, then on the bedsheets
I hear your song in the trees
I finally fall into rest

Often later when I’m sleeping you show up in my dreams
Just doing simple things, like buying groceries, and
When I wake up, I could swear you must’ve just left me
Like you got up to get breakfast
Or maybe just to get dressed

But the truth is
You were never there, you won’t ever be
Sometimes I think I’m not either
So what do I do
When every day still seems to start and end with you?

And you won’t ever know
You won’t ever see
How much your ghost since then
Has been defining me

I leave the memory up atop the balcony
I tear this flower from the back of the dress
It’s best this time, I bet
To just forget and let go

Paint it the shade of where the lip bleeds and blur it out
I blur out everything else
Just blur out everything else
And let go, and let go, and let go

Everybody has to let go someday
Everybody has to let go
I wonder when I will, I wonder

But if I still hear you singing in every city I’m in
After I blur it all out, our every memory, if
You never fade with the days, your shape still haunting me then
Should I not just sing along?
Should I not just sing along?

I will sing sweetly
Hope that the notes change but
I do not need it to happen
I’m not resigned to it

And if they never do
I’ll sing your name in every line
Just like I did throughout this
Just like I’ve always done

In every gun, the empty church
And every tortured son
In all those giving up
In all those giving in

Until I die I will sing our names in unison
Until I die I will sing our names in unison
Until I die, until I