So here goes…;

One last letter now
One last attempt to make sense
Who have I been writing to?
I’m not sure any more

What have I been trying to accomplish?
It’s a mystery, I guess
Self-made secrecy
Things get cloudy and now

All these stories and the
Struggle as an undercurrent
Both get blurry by the minute
Both get blurrier

So which voice is this then
That I am writing in?
Is it my own or his?
Has there ever been a difference
Between them at all?

I don’t know
I don’t know

One last desperate plea
One last verse to sing
One last laugh track to
Accompany the comedy

Have I been losing it completely
Losing sanity? Or
Has it been fabricated
Fashioned by the worst of me?

I know I knocked the table over
Because I watched the jar break
And I’ve been trying to repair it
Every single stupid day

But won’t the cracks still show
No matter how well it’s assembled?
Can I ever just decide
To let it die
And let you go?

All my motives and
Every single narrative below
Reflects that moment when it broke
And will I never let it go
No matter what?

Now I am throwing all the shards away
Discarding every fragment
And fumbling uncertain
Towards a curtain call

That no one wants to happen
That no one’s going to clap for at all
But that still has to be