There were 20, maybe 25 of us
Driving out to California in a bus
We were looking for a good time
And a radio station we could trust

Suddenly we heard an angry thud
And our mighty chariot turned into a dud
We were stopped there in our tracks, man
Adjacent to some cows chewing their cud

Lord, please send some mercy down to me
(50 miles south of Bowling Green)
This will clearly never be my scene
(Why does every city start with "C"?)

There’s only one sure thing that I know:
I’ve gotta get out of Ohio
’til then I’ll never feel love

They say that what you give’s what you’re gonna get
It’s no wonder everything’s gone to shit
’Cause they’ve given us John Boehner
And you better believe they’ve given us Jean Schmidt

Now the floodgates of hell have opened wide
That’s a bad idea, all politics aside
They’re gonna roll out Joe the Plumber
Just to make sure our minds get properly fried

Lord, be merciful and let me die
(50 miles south of Lodi)
Round on both ends and the middle’s high
(What’s so great about a buckeye?)

Whose might is riptide and undertow
There’s no escaping from Ohio!
I’ll never get to feel love

(Hey!)

The walls, they’re closing in
But I’m just inside of Michigan
The only way that I’ll attain ’ya
Is if I get over to Pennsylvania

Except for GBV and Devo
Nothing seems to redeem Ohio
It is the state that killed my love

(Hey!)

Don’t you want to come with me

(Hey!)

And make a break for Kentucky?

(Hey!)

I still got something to put in ’ya

(Hey!)

But we’ll have to go to West Virginia

And I’ve heard great things about Indiana, too