Have you ever watched the sun go down?
And you’re thinking ’bout the world spinning round?
Have you ever been high as fuck?

You’re in the bathroom mirror, talking to yourself
And your dog’s looking at you like you need help
Have you ever been high as fuck?

Then you feel your heart pumping really fast
And you’re convinced that you’re gonna have a heart attack
Have you ever been high as fuck?

You close your eyes and you’re on a chicken farm
The only problem’s that the chickens have human arms
You say, “that’s fucked up, why do the chickens have human arms?”

You need snacks so you walk to the corner store
But you’re scared because you think that they will know you’re high
So you walk around the block to buy some time

You finally decide to go into the store
But you’re so high you don’t know why you’re there anymore
So you just buy a pack of gum and get the hell outta there

You’re walking home and your mouth is dry
You should have bought some juice and snacks
But you were too high
Thinking ’about ketchup chips
And for some reason, the game battleship

And you start thinking about how fun it was to play games like battleship when you were a kid.
And how, as we get older, we forget how to play and just to enjoy ourselves.
So you say, “Guess what? I’m gonna make up a game right now, and it involves a baseball bat
and a porcupine, and I’m gonna try to kill a porcupine with a baseball bat”
But then you don’t know where to find a porcupine, so you go out on eBay and you do a search,
but people don’t sell porcupines on the Internet, and you say, “You know what, world? You’ve got me cornered again… I’m gonna roll another joint”

You ever eat a whole bag of crackers
That were so old that they weren’t crispy anymore?

Have you ever been high… as fuck?

Song name High as Fuck
Artist Jon Lajoie
Album You Want Some of This?
Track number 5
Year 2009
Language Canadian English
Original text by Jon Lajoie